"This sort of self-portrait shows how an artist feels in the presence of genius.
In my gnarled feet and knobby knees I felt clumsy,
but in my head, dancing with Picasso's freedom,
I felt I could do anything!" -- PE
In My Dreams I Danced With Picasso - By Pauline Eaton, 1982
4' foam-core, rice papers, and acrylic paint
In 1980 MOMA (Museum of Modern Art) in New York City held a show of Picasso's work that I knew I could not miss. They emptied all four floors of the museum to host the giant exhibition. You entered from 53rd Street instead of 52nd into the basement where you began with his youthful work and continued up through all four floors, ending up with his work at age 92. Pablo's father was so awestruck by his teenage son's work that he quit his career as an artist. His son had already surpassed him. The young works were like Old Masters. Picasso said that it took him a lifetime to learn to paint like a child.
I went to New York with Charles's sister, Beth. We had tickets for three days, but after two, my eyeballs were just spinning in my head. I was totally overwhelmed and felt I could not take in any more. We sold our tickets to happy hopefuls outside the museum.
I went home to San Diego with a deep need to digest all I had seen and the hope that I could do something to express the experience. Picasso said with his art that there are no boundaries and "You can do Anything!"
I saw our Eric making his custom surfboards and became interested in the slabs of foam-core that he could easily carve yet would harden when exposed to the air. I went with him to his supply shop and acquired the foam-core and some of the finishing materials. At first, I made paper maquettes and then did a few pieces that are around the house of Shadow People and the Shopping Bag Lady. Then, in aluminum, I did a maquette of this piece. When I was ready (almost two years after the MOMA show)
I cut, carved, and coated this piece with rice papers and acrylic medium as glue. I knew I had to paint the figure. Picasso was a painter. But I held back until one night, in the middle of the night, I could not sleep. I felt ready to tackle the piece.
I took the pure white figure to the garage and dove into the painting. About 3:30 a.m. Charles realized I wasn't in bed and came to check on me. When he saw the intensity with which I was working, he backed off, and I must have worked to past five.
This sort of self-portrait shows how an artist feels in the presence of genius. In my gnarled feet and knobby knees I felt clumsy, but in my head, dancing with Picasso's freedom, I felt I could do anything! The style of painting is relational to a middle period of his work when he was painting Girl Before a Mirror, etc. -- Pauline
A Note from Charles:
"I suddenly and definitively realized that "In My Dreams…" is precisely what she says that it is: it is a revelation of the person and feelings of the artist, her very Self made visible––a Self portrait. Not only that, but a significant portion of Pauline's art consists first of an inner searching, and then an attempt to extract the results of this exploration by using a medium more immediate, direct and indirect, profoundly subtle, and flexible than language. Finally, having given it to her framer (me), she sent them out into the world to be witnessed and experienced.
Some, on viewing a piece of art, will reflect on how it should be interpreted––which consists often of an attempt to distill experience into language. In Pauline's case, it is as if the artwork has been invested with some of the resonance/vibration/insight that she was feeling and experiencing in the act of its creation–and that the viewer can pick up as strong or distant reverberation. As you viewed the photograph, you said: "I feel myself almost riveted to the floor. I feel such gratitude to have known Pauline". Of course your response, as a long-time dear friend, must be stronger than that of a person passing by on the way to urgent business. My claim is that you, and even those who have never met Pauline, may all feel heavy-in-the-legs and clumsy––but at times capable of feeling a lightness and élan that almost approaches ecstasy.
One thing is clear about Pauline: she had a rich, dynamic inner life. I often smile when people remark on the remarkable energy of Pauline's art. It does, of course, look indeed like energy––which it is. But more than that, it is a passion––a dynamic, forward driving passion; emotion not recollected in tranquility but splashed, brushed, and scraped from the cauldron of her creativity. Can you imagine what was churning internally while she was reflecting on Picasso, carving the foam-core, turning over possible approaches in design, waiting for the genii of art to drive her to pick up brushes and paint? Our reactions as viewers must be a pale, thin gruel compared to whatever constitutes her feast: the banquet she prepares, at which she feasts, and then shares with us––for her delight at the reception of others was part of her appetite for artistic expression. And yet… we are strangely and powerfully moved by the mere act of viewing her creations.
Charles 12/18/2021
P.S. Pauline regularly painted at night. She wanted to be interrupted by nothing, to have a deep quietness, to paint without a break for as long as she was physically able. It amazed me. I always take any excuse to take a break and then come back to take a look at my work from a different place in time. C.E.
This photograph emphasizes the sculpture's three-dimensional aspect: